The Ups and Downs

I am sure many of you have had the opportunity to ride a roller coaster at some point in your life. The question is this...  How many of you enjoyed it? How many of you were scared for your life? How many of you wanted to do it again?

For me and my family, we LOVE roller coasters.  We haven't found one that we really don't like.  All we want to do is ride them over and over again. But there is one roller coaster my family doesn't like, especially me. It is the roller coaster of diabetes.  

For the past month or so, my sugars have been like a roller coaster with LOTS of Ups and Downs.  Just when I think I have figured out what is okay with my body to eat my sugars go up or come crashing down.  There is no rhyme or reason to why this happens.  I can eat the same thing all week long and get different results each day.  I do know this... eating a more vegetarian way and even raw is what my body really wants and does well, with more balanced sugars.  But my brain some days tells me differently.  I crave carbohydrates, the bad kind, especially around that dreaded time of month.  You know, the one you put on a few pounds on in the gut.  You are cranky some days, happy others, sad or just to tired to do anything.

Each color represents a different day.  The thick green bar that goes straight across represents where my sugars should stay throughout the day.  The Ups that I have are above the green bar reaching high into the 200 mark.  The Downs are below the green bar, getting as low as the 40's.  

Because I ride this "Sugar" roller coaster often, I also get to ride the "Emotional" roller coaster of frustration, depression, anger, jealousy, and sometimes resentment.  These are two roller coasters I really don't like.  Frustrated that there is no rhyme or reason to the Ups & Downs.  Depressed, angry and jealous that I can't have what I want (anymore).  Resentful that my family can eat whatever and whenever they want without having to check their sugars every time they want to eat.  On the outside everything looks fine but on the inside there are twists and turns and Ups and Downs.  It is not easy being diabetic.  And it is not easy for my family either.